[His head is swimmy, pounding so hard his vision jitters. He breathes and breathes, the bile in his throat not going down without a fight. The image of Julia's mangled body has burned itself into the insides of his eyelids. There's no escaping it. Or the screams that knife through his mind, echoes on echoes.
He's accepted pain as an inevitability of being alive, and learned to make room for it, always working to tamp down and pack older memories away if he couldn't twist them into something useful. But there's no room left, this time. He can't any more -- he can't.
The last dim spot of light has gone out in his world and he knows he doesn't deserve to go with it, to have the luxury to die on his own terms. But he doesn't deserve to live, either, if she can't. If her final, terrifying moments are in any way Hector's fault, than he knows it's his own, just as much, for standing there and doing nothing. For being like any leering, soulless monster. The humans can't be all wrong, he decides, seeing what they see in him.
His dagger squelches loose from Hector's leg, slimy with blood. And after a long moment, Isaac lifts his head with it, staring through him as he makes to put that same blade to his own throat and jerk it across.]
if this doesn't work for any reason, I'm happy to change it, just lemme know
He's accepted pain as an inevitability of being alive, and learned to make room for it, always working to tamp down and pack older memories away if he couldn't twist them into something useful. But there's no room left, this time. He can't any more -- he can't.
The last dim spot of light has gone out in his world and he knows he doesn't deserve to go with it, to have the luxury to die on his own terms. But he doesn't deserve to live, either, if she can't. If her final, terrifying moments are in any way Hector's fault, than he knows it's his own, just as much, for standing there and doing nothing. For being like any leering, soulless monster. The humans can't be all wrong, he decides, seeing what they see in him.
His dagger squelches loose from Hector's leg, slimy with blood. And after a long moment, Isaac lifts his head with it, staring through him as he makes to put that same blade to his own throat and jerk it across.]